


Ghost of you

by SamTheKid



Category: Ghost of you - Fandom
Genre: Angst AF, Gen, It has blood beware, Other, Panic Attacks, if you like suffering you’ve come to the right place, im warning yall, lots of anxiety and depression, many good precious boys, mention of rape, mention of suicide, shitty LGBT rep, some ptsd, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-12-18 08:04:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18245774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamTheKid/pseuds/SamTheKid
Summary: Idk enjoy I guess





	1. When life gives you lemons

I always knew something was up. There had been witnesses of paranormal activity, like things levitating and moving around, doors opening and closing on their own.

Everyone was aware, but nothing had ever happened to the students, so no one really cared anymore. We got used to it and some students, assuming there were ghosts, decided to name them.

 

Jared was the clown. He is the one that interrupted class and throws your books to the ground, makes your pens levitate and erases stuff from the board.

April. She’s actually really nice. She’s the only one that can actually write out of all the ghosts, so whenever people are struggling with exams, she’s there to look at Michael’s test and write the answer in your test.

Dorian, on the other hand, is the quiet one. He doesn’t stand out that much, but you know he’s there. If you ever see a book or two lying around in the library or the cafeteria, don’t bother picking them up. Dorian will put them back eventually.

And finally, Eddie. He’s the scary one. He’s the one that once in a while breaks a window, slams doors into people’s faces and throws your stuff out of the window.

People say he’s aggressive because he can’t stand when teachers call out students without a reason. But if you ever find this note, don’t worry about it too much! Those guys are amazing.

 

I stared at the note in confusion. It was my first day of school and I had just opened my locker. I wondered who had left that note there. But I quickly forgot about it, when two guys shoved me against the lockers.

 

“What’s up, Avery! Ready for a new school year?”

 

I recognized that voice without even looking at him. Those two were Derek Stevens and Peter Gray, my bullies, if I say so myself. They’re the ones that throw me into the trash can once in a while, make me trip during lunch and sometimes try to drown me in the toilet. I was used to it, so I didn’t mind. No one else seemed to care either.

 

“Hey man...”, I greeted as I grabbed the books that had fallen to the ground.

_Not this again._

 

Derek clapped his hands twice, walking down the hall. "Hey, don’t forget! Today in the bathroom after school!” I saw him and Peter disappear in the middle of the crowded hallway. I perfectly knew what he meant by that. _We were going back to the routine._

 

My day went on like it always did. Had classes, spent lunch break sitting alone in a corner, got called out by our PE teacher for not running as much and as fast as the other students. I felt so tired and it was just the first day, so I decided to skip Algebra and go to the library.

 

I sat down and started taking notes, when I realized I had forgotten one of my books at home. I stood up and started looking for a copy of it through the shelves of books, taking at least five minutes, until I finally sat down again. I put the book down and noticed someone had written something on my notebook.

 _“Please don’t go to the bathroom today.”_ I ran my fingers through the notebook, wondering who had written that message. I looked around but no one seemed to even notice I was there. I decided to ignore it and kept studying until the bell rang.

 

I packed my stuff and slowly made my way into the bathroom, thinking about what was waiting for me. And I suddenly felt my chest tightening a little. No one was there yet so I locked myself into one of the stalls and crossed my arms while I waited. I was surprised when I noticed my legs were shaking. I started feeling more and more anxious, the fear growing inside of me. I didn’t want it to happen. Not again.

 

I heard someone walk into the bathroom and closed my eyes.

 

_Please go away._

 

“Avery! I know you’re in here. Open up.”

 

It was him. He was there, ready to drown me like I were nothing more than an animal. I clenched my hands and opened my eyes.

_Leave me alone._

 

“N-No... Go away.” My voice was shaking and when I realized I had actually said something, Derek was kicking the door.

 

”Open up you piece of shit!”, he shouted in anger.

 

My body stood up on its own. “No.”

The entire bathroom went silent and for a moment I felt relieved. I thought he had left. I thought I was finally safe. But I was wrong. 

The door opened from the outside and Derek threw himself over me, his hands grabbing my neck tightly and squeezing it like a toy.

 

“Who do you think you are to speak up?! You good for nothing! I should just kill you here and now!”

 

His hands strangled me even more and although I had no wish to, I tried to fight back. I tried to kick him away, take his hands off my neck, but I didn’t have enough strength. I could feel my body letting go of itself as my lungs ran out of air. I closed my eyes. That was it. I was gonna die in a high school bathroom, strangled my this guy. I was ready to let go. And Derek would really have killed me, if someone hadn’t grabbed his hair and pulled his head back. My hands landed on my neck as I coughed in search of air. Feeling my legs give out, I let myself sink into the floor, while I heard Derek being beaten up.

 

I slowly stood up and walked out of the stall, just to see a golden haired boy hitting Derek’s face. From what I could see, he was almost unconscious and his nose was bleeding.

_Don't hurt him._

 “Stop... Let him be.”, I managed to let out.

The boy turned his face to me, surprised. He let go of Derek and turned his whole attention to me. “Take your stuff and get out of here. You’re safe now.”, he said.

I looked him in the eye, took my backpack and as I was about to leave the bathroom, I turned to him. “Thanks for helping me, Uh...”

He smiled a little. “Dorian... People call me Dorian.”


	2. Is it really?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avery think about a lot of things uwu

I locked myself in my room as soon as I got home. My body was still shaking a bit, reminding me of what had happened. And no matter what I did, I couldn’t feel safe.

 _“It’s ok.”_ , I told myself as I wrapped a blanket around my body and laid on my bed.

I closed my eyes and sank into the warmth of the blanket, feeling the tension in my muscles slowly fade away.

 

“ _It’s ok.”_

 

~

 

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket, half asleep and picked up.

 

“Hello?”

 

It kept ringing. I opened my eyes and looked at the screen, confused. Turns out it was my alarm and not a phone call. I had slept four hours, but it felt like minutes. I got up and took my daily pills, before leaving my room to take a late shower. As I looked myself into the mirror, I noticed there still were some bruises around my neck.

 

_If it hadn’t been for that guy... I’d be dead._

I ran my fingers over the bruises and faked a smile.

 _Not that anyone would care_.

 

I got in the bathtub, remembering what I had gone through that afternoon. I remembered how much blood was coming out of Derek’s nose, how that boy looked at me and told me his name.

_Wait._

_What was his name again?_

 

Was it Damien? I knew it started with a D. Daniel? Dolorean? Wait, no, that’s from Back to the Future...

I spent at least five minutes trying to remember his god damn name, before giving up.

 

_I’ll ask him tomorrow._

I ran my hands through my wet hair and let my last thought wander through my mind.

 

 _Maybe we could become friends_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on insta !!
> 
> -> Sam.the.writer.uwu  
> -> paint._.exe


	3. A special friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avery makes a new, very special friend...

The following day.

 

i entered the school and slowly made my way to my locker, praying that Derek wouldn’t go after me with a chainsaw after what had happened the day before.

Surprisingly, he didn’t.

I opened my locker and noticed a little note over my books. _”Are you feeling better?”_ , I read.

 

It was the same handwriting as the message in my notebook.

  _I_ _s this the guy from yesterday?_

I still hadn’t figured out his name.

 

I put the note inside my pocket and started taking out the books I needed, until a group of girls passed by me and I happened to hear them.

 

”Hey, did you notice who was in the library?”

”He’s reading again?”, asked a second girl.

”Last time I saw him he was reading “Nineteen minutes”. He’s kind of a nerd, isn’t he?”

”Yeah, but he’s cute.”, said another girl.

The first girl let out a laugh. “Yup. Dorian is cute.”

 

The group walked away, leaving me alone in my thoughts.

_Dorian._

_That was his name._

 

I closed my locker and ran to the library at the speed of light. The library was quiet as always, until I accidentally bumped into the wrong transparent door and feel to the ground.

Most of the students and teachers inside the library were staring at me, some laughing, some wondering how the fuck I had bumped into a door.

I noticed that, in the middle of that audience, was the reason I was alive.

 

 ~~Shia LaBeuf.~~   _Dorian._

 

I quickly got up as the students went back to what they were doing. I looked for Dorian and ended up finding him, reading a book in a corner, deep inside the library.

I thought I was looking at myself, sitting in a corner like I always did. But instead of reading some dumb Destiel fanfiction or listening to the sound that zebras make like I do, he was reading.

I came back to reality when I noticed Dorian was staring at me with those beautiful hazel eyes.

 

”Uh... Hey there.” I managed to say.

 

_Why am I getting nervous?!_

 

He didn’t bother answering and turned his attention back to the book he had in his hands.

 

”I... I wanted to thank you for helping me yesterday... And, uh... I was wondering you like, wanted to... Become friends with me...” My voice got deeper and quieter with each word that left my mouth.

 

_This is harder than I thought._

 

He glanced at me with a “ _why won’t you let me read in peace_ ” kind of look, and then closed his book and stood up.

He started walking towards me.

 

”Sure, why not.”

 

For some reason, I couldn’t move.  _I had a friend._ The Avery that was invisible and bullied and abused... Had a _friend_.

 

When I turned around, he was already gone, so I just stood there, by myself, smiling like and idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for more chapters in the near future <333


	4. Expect the unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avery meets yet another strange person

Derek hadn't come to the first two periods. I started getting worried, thinking something bad had happened to him after I left the boys bathroom. I went around school, asking everyone if they had seen him, but no one gave me a positive answer. I finally gave up and sat in a corner, opening up Wattpad to read the latest chapter of a new Drarry fanfic I started reading.

I read, and read, and read, letting my imagination flow with every word my eyes absorved. I was just getting to the part where Harry, after eight whole chapters, finally confesses his feelings for Draco, but I snapped back into reality and looked up when I heard someone call my name.

 

"AVERY!" There he was, walking towards me with a deadly look in his eyes and a band aid over his nose.

 

I could feel a pang of anxiety hitting me like puberty hit Matthew Lewis. My chest got tighter and my hands started shaking.  _Not this again._   _Please make this stop._ He stood up in front of me, fists clenched and eyes fixed on mine. He grabbed me by my grey sweatshirt and made me stand up. I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut, scared for my life, waiting for that one punch that would break a tooth or two.

 

"How did you do that?", I heard in a calm voice. I slowly opened my eyes, meeting his, as he waited for an answer.

"W-What?", I managed to let out, turning my eyes to the floor, after noticing some students looking over his shoulders and whispering little sentences about the fact that Derek was pinning me against a wall.

"We were alone in the bathroom! How did you escape my hands?!", he shouted, pushing my sweatshirt closer to him and looking me furiously in the eye.

 

_He doesn't remember what happened?_

 

"I... I got help from a friend..."

 

Everything went silent except for the students that kept talking while making their ways to their own classrooms. Derek let go of my clothes and stepped back a few steps, keeping his head turned to the floor. I took a deep breath, thinking it was over, that he was gonna leave me alone for the rest of the day, but all that was quickly forgotten when his fist hit my face, throwing me to the floor.

 

"YOU THINK I'M GONNA BELIEVE THAT STUPID LIE?! YOU FUCKING IDIOT! WHO DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?", he shouted, kicking my legs and stomach, until a teacher and some students held him down. "I'll kill you if you ever make up something that stupid! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS!"

 

I didn't hear anything else after that. Some girls were nice enought to help me stand up, but I didn't catch what they were saying. I made my way to the nurse's office, by myself like usual, but never actually got in. I turned around and went to my locker to grab my books. There were no surprise notes this time.

 

I didn't want to be there that day. I was walking down the school halls, when i noticed a red haired girl that seemed to be following me with her eyes fixed on my hair.

 

 _“Whats up with her?”,_ I thought.

 

I kept walking around to check if she really was following me, before turning around and looking her in the eyes.

 

"Why are you following me?", I asked, hiding my hands in my pockets. She looked suddenly frightened, as she tried to speak.

 

"You can see me?", she whispered, scared of maybe scaring me. I nodded with my head and looked into her green eyes. "Why are you following me?", I repeated.

 

She stared at the floor for a second and then back at me again. She drew her hand towards me and her lips formed a little smile.

 

"It's nice to finally meet you, Oscar."

 

_Oscar._

_People hadn't called me that for years._

 

"Who are you?", I slowly reached out and shook her hand.

 

The girl withdrew her hand and hid it behind her back.

 

"My name's April."

 

 

_April._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy oh boy here we go
> 
> ALSO! Everyone refers to him as Avery so no one really remembers his name is actually Oscar


	5. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oscar becomes friend with April and remembers something that he didn’t really want to remember (trigger warning for those who are sensitive I guess)

_April._

 

_April like the month. April like that K-pop group my cousin once told me about. April like that one singer that had a great song called “Be ok”. April like in April Kepner from Grey’s Anatomy. April like the girl mentioned on the paper I found in my locker on the first day of school. April like one of the ghosts mentioned in the exact same note._

 

_April._

 

I took a step back, trying to hide the shock from my face. I wondered how I could see her if she was a ghost.

”Please don’t freak out...”, she requested, crossing her arms around her chest as her gaze turned to any other thing except my eyes, “I just want to be friends with you.”

 

I held my breath for a bit after hearing those words. “Friends...? With me? No, no. That’s a terrible idea.”

April walked closer to me and looked at me with puppy dog eyes. “Then why did you ask Dorian to be your friend?”, she asked.

 

_How does she know that?_

 

”B-Because he’s different. Dorian helped me out when no one else was there. You just showed up out of nowhere, started following me around school, stated that you’re a ghost and asked me to be friends with me.”

April’s little smile faded away at those cold words. She stepped away and looked only at the floor with a sad look on her face.

“I wanted to be friends with you because I’m always alone and since people can’t see me it’s hard to do this kind of stuff. But when Dorian told me you answered him and actually had a conversation with him, I thought that maybe, since you could see us, I could become friends with an actual human being.”, she explained.

 

_I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt anyone else. Not again._

 

_Not again._

 

I took several deep breaths to prevent my panic attack to get the best of me as the memories started getting more clear in my mind. All the blood spilled on the floor. A body hanging from the ceiling. I could see myself again in that old quiet room, staring in horror at the scene in front of me.

At that time, I couldn’t feel guilty or disgusted or in pain. I couldn’t feel anything except for the tears that started falling down my cheeks as I looked at the body.

 

~~_”Mom?”_ ~~

 

I closed my eyes for an instant, trying to forget those images that had been buried deep in the back of my mind, and tried to focus on what was going on  _in that moment._

 

”April”, I started, putting one of my hand on her shoulder and surprisingly, I could actually touch it, “I’m sorry if I hurt you with those words. We can still be friends if you want, but you’re gonna be to explain all that Ghostbusters thing that’s going on with you. Deal?”

April looked up, staring into my eyes and slowly started smiling. “Are you sure you don’t mind being friends with a ghost?”, she asked.

I made a little smile and withdrew my hand from her shoulder. “I don’t care about what you are. You’re still my friend. And we’ll be invisible together.”

April laughed. “Together.”, she repeated.

 

_Together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh yeah idk where this story is headed I just keep having ideas as I go


	6. Panic! At the Bedroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oscar remembers his last once again.

As I walked back home, I thought about what had happened. In less than three days, my life had been a mess.

 

_I had yet another friend._

 

It felt impossible. This was supposed to be a normal school year like it always had been.

Having lunch by myself, reading fanfics by myself, sitting in corners by myself, walking home by myself and doing every little thing _by myself_.

 _It felt weird_.

 

When I got home, I noticed a little envelope with a note next to it on the counter.

“Here’s the usual money. If you need anything else don’t hesitate in asking ok? - Mike”

Mike. He was my uncle. He was the one who took custody of me after my mom died and my dad went to jail. I stayed with him until i turned 17 and moved back to my old house by myself. He gives me money every month, pays all the bills and always tries to keep in touch although he lives pretty far. He treats me like a son.  _I like him._

I walked up the stairs to my room and when I opened the door, I was both glad and disappointed at the fact that it had been left exactly how it was that morning.

My desk had paper sheets and texts books scrambled all over it, my bed was covered in clothes I hadn’t worn in days. My nightstand had a pile of used tissues, my usual pills and a book that didn’t fit on my shelves. But I didn’t want it to fit. I’d never take out my Harry Potter and John Green collection out of my shelf for a mere book.

I sighed a little and decided to start cleaning everything up. I opened the window to let out some fresh air, washed my clothes, put away the used tissues, organized my textbooks and paper sheets and finally prepared dinner.

As usual, I sat in the living room and had dinner while reading a book, all by myself.

 

 

12:55 am

 

I finally decided to go to sleep. As I turned off the lights, my mind reminded me of the events that had taken place less than seventy two hours ago.

I thought about April and Dorian. I soon started making up imaginary conversations and scenes that would never happen, you know, like a normal person would do. My eyes slowly started feeling heavier and after a while I was completely out.

 

 

 _“Oscar.”_ , I heard.

 

I recognized that voice. I looked around and noticed I was in the middle of a hallway. My hallway. Except that something was off. Everything looked... Bigger.

 

 _“Oscar.”_ , I heard again.

 

I followed the voice down the hall until I stood in front of my dad’s office. My tiny hand reached out and pushed the door, letting my eyes see who had been calling me.

I took a while to let out any words. As much as I tried to look away, I couldn’t. There was a person. A person hanging from the ceiling by a rope. A person with deep cuts along their arms, whose blood slowly traveled down their fingers and fell to the floor, creating a little puddle. I felt my legs shake and my mouth finally gained strength to talk.

 

_“Mom...?”_

 

There was no response. Her face was white and pale and her dead eyes stared into me, screaming for help. She seemed deader than dead, but something looked weird. She was grinning. A small grin, slowly grew bigger as her hoarse voice finally spoke.

“Os... Car...”, her arms twitched a little.  _“Why did you do this to me?”_

 

My eyes widened at those words, but I wasn’t fast enough to reply. The scene suddenly changed to a place I could have recognized anywhere.

My middle school class playing during recess.

Everyone, myself included, was running around, playing with each other, smiling and laughing. I saw my friends. My old ones. Owen, Charlie, Amanda, Susan and Josh.

I still remembered that day. I had given a flower to Amanda and told her she was the prettiest girl in our class.

Compared to the others days, this one seemed to going well. Until it all went to shit.

 

“Hey Amanda! Don’t stand so close to Oscar. He might kill you.”, some dude said.

_Isaac._

He was the one who started it all. And being the cool kid, everyone followed behind.

“Yeah! He’s gonna tie a rope around your neck and strangle you like a plush.”

_Derek._

The group of kids started getting bigger and the questions were overflowing my mind.

 

“Did she scream when you killed her?”

“How did you manage to make her stand still?”

“Did you try to kill your dad too?”

 

I gulped in fear but answered anyway. “No. That’s not true.”

 

Everyone was suddenly laughing. Making jokes about something that was far from being funny. I turned around, seeking for help, when I noticed my own friends were laughing along, making fun of my tiny hands and teasing me about the subject.

 

The crowd grew larger and larger and out of nowhere, a kid called me one specific thing that until today some guys still call me.

 

_“Murderer.”_

 

Everyone went silent and all the eyes were focused on the kid who had spoken. Isaac once again. “Guys, he killed someone. You shouldn’t be laughing or else he’ll kill you too.”

And that was it. Everyone looked back at me, this time with fear in their eyes. Everyone slowly started standing back, some faster than the others and once again I turned to my friends, who were already far away. I looked at Amanda.

 

“Amanda, please. I didn’t do it.”, I swore.

Her last words were carved inside my heart until today. “Stay away from me, Killer.”

 

Killer.

 

_Killer. Killer. Killer._

 

_Killer._

 

 

My head jerked awake at the sound of a scream. I soon realized it had been my own. My back was sweaty all over and my eyes were slowly forming tears. I sat on my bed, trying to breath normally as I felt a panic attack rise inside of me.

 

_Calm down. CALM DOWN._

 

I thought about those words over and over again, trying to push everything away and forget the things that I had dreamed about. I grabbed my hair and pulled it, trying to ease the pain I was feeling and the pain I wanted to feel. But it didn’t work.

I stood up and walked over to my desk, opening the second drawer. There they were like they had been for the last seven months. I grabbed one of them and tried to calm down. It didn’t work.

 

_Dont do this to yourself. Not again. Calm down._

 

“It doesn’t work.”, I cried as a tear finally fell down my face. It was still in my hand, ready to slice some inches of my wrist once again. “It doesn’t work.”, I repeated.

My legs gave out and I fell to the floor, letting go of the razor blade I had been holding.

 

_Breathe. Just breathe._

 

My hands grabbed my hair once again. I started sobbing again.

 

“It doesn’t work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooo what a ride huh? I hadn’t written in a while so enjoy this while I go cope w my depression byeeee


	7. Just sleep just breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh fuckity fuck fuck

_Nightmares._

 

Ever since I was a child i've hated them. They made me wake up in the middle of the night, thinking there was a monster inside my closet or under my bed.

 

_Turns out the monster was me all along._

 

I couldn't go back to sleep after what happened. It was still 4am but I was already leaving, walking down the road with no exact destination. It would be a little loger until the sun started showing itself to this side of earth so the streetlights were still on, although they didn't quite help, considering the fact that the lamps were already giving out. I took my phone out of my pocket and opened Spotify. I was in that mood where I wanted to listen to music, but no music seemed to be decent. I finally picked one.

_"Nightmare" by NateWantsToBattle._

 

My steps were silent as I kept walking down the road. I went into town, taking out my headphones once in a while, only to listen to all the drunk people in bars who were cheering and laughing louder than they should. I couldn't help but smile at those people, who I could tell, had a different life and past compared to me.

_I wish i could be happy like them._

 

I kept walking, leaving the bars behind me and finally setting a checkpoint to that little jogging session. I walked and walked until my legs couldn't take it anymore. But finally, one hour later, there I was. The top of the bridge. Letting myself fall was not the plan.  _Not this time._ I grabbed my phone and changed the song for the forty fourth time. It finally landed on what I wanted.

_"It's ok you're ok" by Bonjr_

 

My phone went back into my pocket as I lifted my head again and stared into the city lights that slowly started turning themselves off. And there it was. The sunlight warning the world that he was coming for another day. Some cars started circulating around town. Maybe they were shop owners. Maybe delivery services. The first rays of sun hit my eyes and blinded me for a while before I could adjust to all the sudden light.

In that moment, I could only think of one thing.

 

_I'm alive._

 

I felt alive. My eyes started to hurt so I decided to screw them shut and let my face and clothes absorve the warth of the sun. And suddenly everything felt alright. In that moment,  _life was good._ Until it all went to shit.

 

"Oscar?"

My eyes opened and looked around as my mind recognized that voice. And there she was, standing right in front of me, staring at me in shock.

 

_Amanda._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuckkkkk


	8. Friend or Foe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fucks (this story is going nowhere)

“What are you doing here?”, she asked with a smile on her face, “God it’s been years since I last saw you!”

_Why are you here?_

My chest felt tight as I remembered my past with her. I felt scared, I wanted to run. I wanted to get out of there even if it meant having to jump off the bridge.

”Hey Amanda... It’s been a while...”

_Please just go away. Leave me alone._

_”_ Hey wanna join me? I was heading to a cafe where I usually have breakfast. We could use that time to catch up.”, she suggested, gently wrapping her arm around mine.

_Why are you being nice._

”S-Sure...”, I screeched.

We walked together for a while, before finally entering a small cafe and sitting in the back. Amanda ordered the breakfast menu and I ended up ordering some water because I felt like vomiting from the anxiety.

”So, how’s your life going? Anything interesting?”, she asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

”Not really...”, I let out a fake laugh, “You know same as always, school and all that.”

”Oh what school do you attend?”

”The public school near that famous music store.”

”What?! That’s where Derek goes to, right? Are you guys still friends?”, she asked with a surprised look.

I lowered my eyes to the table, trying to stay calm, before shaking my head. “Not exactly... Ever since middle school things haven’t been so good when it comes to making friends...”

Amanda’s expression changed completely, her head lowering itself a bit. “Because of that... That day?”, she asked.

”Don’t pretend like you’re worried. Back then you and the others left me without letting me explain myself. You guys believed all those lies instead of trusting your own friend...” My voice cracked a bit. “You said I was... You called me...” I felt tears forming in my eyes as the memories filled my head with that word over and over again.

”Killer...”, she let out, her deep blue eyes fixed on mine.

I quickly stood up and ran to the bathroom, feeling my stomach give out even tho it was empty. I locked myself in a stall and sat down, feeling my breath starting to accelerate. It felt like I was in the school’s bathroom, waiting for Derek to come and drown me.

_Not again. Please._

Tears fell down my face and I grabbed my hair, wishing I had jumped off the bridge when I had the chance.

”Oscar, come out.”, Amanda asked, gently knocking on the stalls’ door.

”Leave me alone.”, I cried, “Im a monster...”

_Why did I agree to this._

”Oscar, open the door, I’m not gonna hurt you I promise.”, she said.

_Liar._

”Go away.”, I cried, wiping my tears as more formed.

”Oscar.”, her shadow moved around a bit before her hand sliding under the door. “Grab my hand please.”

Her hand stood still, waiting for me to reach out. I didn’t want to. It wasn’t safe. But even so, I did. I sat down on the floor and grabbed her cold hand, leaning my head against the door.

”Listen to me please.”, she started, “Whatever you remember from that day, from any day onward, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left you when I needed you the most. I’m sorry for not giving you a chance to explain yourself. I’m sorry to believe in all those kids. Nothing can ever take back what I did to you after you gave me that flower. But please, trust me I’m not that stupid little girl anymore.”

I tightened my grip around her hand. “You called me... A killer...”, I whispered. 

“And that will never happen again. I promise, just please, open the door.”, she begged, “I don’t want you to be alone again.”

I let go of her hand, stood up and opened the door. “YOU LEFT ME ALONE ALL THOSE YEARS!”, I shouted in anger, “You and the others! In less than two weeks my mother died, I lost all my friends and was accused my every single fucking kid that I was a murderer! You expect me to be ok after all that?!”

My hands started shaking at those words as I felt her eyes all over me. She slowly stood up and opened her arms.

”Come here.”, she muttered.

I didn’t want to get closer. Or even be with her. I wished I could erase the last hour that had passed, but what was done, was done. And now I had to end it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He’s gonna choke her with toilet paper

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on insta!!
> 
> -> Sam.the.writer.uwu  
> -> paint._.exe (art acc)


End file.
